Maybe when it comes to catching the DUMBEST criminals, a really soft, plush, comfortable place to sleep works better than an alarm?

Last week, 25-year-old Christopher White of Waterford, Wisconsin got hammered, and broke into a Remax real estate office in Burlington, Wisconsin.

First, he grabbed all the computers and took them outside.  But before he could leave with them, something caught his eye.  There was a large BEARSKIN RUG on the wall . . . and it must've looked too good to pass up.

So Christopher pulled it down off the wall, curled up on it, and went to sleep.

When employees got to work around 8:30 A.M., they found him sleeping on the rug.  The cops came, woke him up, and arrested him.

One of the realtors from the office summed up the night.  Quote, "You can't fix stupid.  You can just arrest it." 

(NBC 4 - Milwaukee / Racine Uncovered)

WILLIE NELSON is in a new "web exclusive" from Conan O'Brien's website, TeamCoco.com . . . where he auditions for the part of Gandalf in the second "Hobbit" movie.  (???)

The whole thing is pot-themed, of course.  So he's in a wizard costume, and says stuff like, quote, "You shall not pass . . . an un-lit joint" . . . and, quote, "That giant flaming eye is just freaking me the [eff] out."

(Search for "Willie Nelson's 'The Hobbit 2' Audition Reel."  WARNING:  He says the word "a--holes.")

A funny video called "Postman Owns Little Kid" popped up on a bunch of websites over the weekend.  It's of a toddler trying to look out the window on the front door of his house, and his head is level with the mail slot.

And right when his mouth hanging open, the mailman arrives and shoves some mail through . . . which actually goes IN the kid's mouth and knocks him over.  (It happens at :34.)