Here's the biggest problem with shoplifting an ADULT TOY with a HI-LARIOUSLY DIRTY NAME. If you get busted, EVERYONE'S going to report on it . . . and your name on Google will now forever be associated with the toy you stole.
--That's exactly what's happening to 19-year-old Alexander Marcelino Perez of Bradenton, Florida.
--On Sunday, Alexander went to a Spencer's Gifts in Bradenton and asked for a job application. And while he was in there, he shoplifted a sex toy called the SUPER SUCKER.
--The Super Sucker is a flesh-textured cylinder that you put your junk into. The manufacturer describes it as having a, quote, "real mouth sensation." And it only costs $17.
--Anyway, a security guard caught Alexander with the Super Sucker in his pocket. He was arrested for misdemeanor theft.